verifiedaccount:

that’s a modern seinfeld

george is tired of being awoken by amber alerts and turns them off on his phone. jerry tells him he won’t sleep any better because putting up with amber alerts makes everyone feel like they’re at least trying to help. they ask kramer and he says you can’t take off the amber alert and in fact he’s added all kinds of new alerts with various names and colors so alarms are going off on his phone all the time. elaine thinks she sees a car that matches the description and starts following him but when she publicly accuses him it turns out she mistook a 1 for an I on his license plate and he’s just a dad out with his kid. she tries to turn it around by saying she’s into single fathers. george sleeps soundly but while out on a date an amber alert goes off on everyone’s phone but his and his date storms out and everyone in the restaurant turns on him. 

(via swarnpert)

sadtit:

hey is anyone interested in Treating Me Right it’s free.  it doesn’t cost anything

(via fknbeesechurger)

dogsenpai:

me: *watching stranger things*

strange thing: *happens*

me:

(via thottielamottie)

yehudisha:

johnchrists:

emoteddybae:

spacexualkids:

no offense but yall gotta stop acting like its the end of the world if a bi girl ends up with a guy

but then there’s no cute lesbian-ness and that’s what makes it so gr8

honestly shut up

do these ppl realize that bi girls are actual people who aren’t getting into relationships for the sole purpose of performing good politics / cuteness / adequate proof of their same gender attraction / whatever else you’re judging them on 2day.. bi women’s relationships are Not For You, bi women shouldn’t have to wake up daily and think “how do I make my personal interactions with other people good and pure in the eyes of others.” 

one of the most damaging things about biphobia is that girls attracted to multiple genders end up constantly and guiltily analyzing their personal (and I’m gonna repeat, personal) relationships for ideological purity, whether or not they’re performing LGBT-ness hard enough, whether enough their relationships look good enough to others, etc etc, and that’s not at all conducive to a healthy relationship. when u have bi girls spending more time thinking of whether or not their relationship is good enough for others than, idk, if their relationships are healthy and loving and fulfilling or not, that’s an issue.

saying u approve of bi women in w/w relationships more because “it’s cuter” is such a fetishy way of looking at w/w relationships and lesbian/bi women in general, I can’t tell if the commenter is a lesbian/bi woman or not but if not that makes it even creepier, especially the way they talked about “lesbian relationships” being cuter like.. that shit harms and fetishizes both lesbians and bi women, knock it off.

(via alt-j-deactivated20171027)

snailina:

Me after one cup of coffee : i am beautiful and fast

(via precumming)

jumex:

Facebook: these people have birthdays today
Me: they can choke

(via bottledfresh)